Best Places for People with Aspergers

bestplacesforpeoplewithaspergers

Best places for People with Aspergers

Sometimes you just don’t feel at home where you live. Whether it is due to culture or support services, you may need to move before you can integrate into an area. Here are some areas to consider moving to:

  1. San Francisco. Known for it’s openness and liberalism, it is also home to some of the worlds most recognizable tech companies. There are plenty of social clubs, culture, help groups, and new ideas on the horizon to make your head spin. And with Oakland and San Jose nearby, if you don’t feel San Francisco, you have other metro areas nearby. In addition, Northern California is know for it’s outdoor beauty. So if you are into the outdoors, it is somewhere to consider. I would say this is definitely one of the best places to consider living for someone who has aspergers.
  2. Japan. Quirky is one was to describe japan. Home of flavors gone bad, trading cards, and odd cultural trends, you will find all sorts of craziness here. Japanese culture is very reserved, so if you want a culture that is not in your face, this might be a prime candidate. Tokyo have over 38 million people, offering thousands of different lifestyles for those that choose to call it home. There are smaller cities however for those who don’t like the chaos. This is one of the best places for people with aspergers and who want a creative environment.
  3. Taiwan. This small island close to China is a nerds paradise. It has the largest concentration of people who need glasses, have a ton to cool book store, have high speed internet, and a low cost of living. In addition if you want to travel it is the perfect spot to jump from. It is a very polite country and people with aspergers would find it a welcome change from the mixed mess in their home country.
  4. Alaska. If you are fed up with people in general and don’t care if you see much of civilization again and can stand the cold, this may be an option. Laws are very laid back on several things and you get money from the state’s oil fund for just living there. The only downside is that there is not much culture, and so for someone that wants to do things it may be very limiting. This place is good for the less social among us.
  5. Amsterdam. This mirrors San Francisco, but even more so. The biggest advantage over San Fran is that you are close to several other liberal countries right near by. And if you happen to open a business there with 5,000 dollars invested, you may qualify for Dutch citizenship if you are a US citizen. This is for the more international among us.

And so there you have it, the 5 best places for people with aspergers to live. If you have any others you thing should have made the list, feel free to add them in the comments box.

Parenting Children with Mild Aspergers Checklist

Parenting Children with Mild Aspergers Checklist

Often times we will not notice the symptoms right away, but they will creep in over time. A little quirk here, a little quirk there, and we start to realize something might be wrong. You then realize through your search that your child may have aspergers. At first you may be shocked. But after regaining you sense of balance and searching on how to parent parent children with aspergers, you gain a slight sense of ease. But now what? What do you do?

Luckily you stumbled on to this guide. Here are 10 steps you can make to make parenting children with aspergers easier:

  1. Be patient. many times children with aspergers don’t realizing they are screwing up. Give them some wiggle space and try to explain things as simply as possible.
  2. Try to show interest in what they like and nurture it. Many so called obsessions turn into great paying careers. Encourage them to do what they love and listen to them, even when they go on. Just mention lightly that they have to be careful in public because some people are not as nice about it.
  3. Homeschool them if you can. This allows more one on one time and allows customization to their life and needs. This also helps them build creativity and to think objectively. The extra time can be put towards building career and other real world skills.
  4. Build a friendship with your child. This does not mean you should not discipline them, but you should aim to have a claim to authority, and from there it will make it more easy for them to listen to you.
  5. Consider cognitive behavioral therapy. This helps teach children and others with aspergers life skills and coping mechanism to deal with real world situations. This is harder to find outside metro areas, but it is possible to find them. The only downside is cost, although some insurances may cover it.
  6. Use your life as an example. People learn by action, not merely by words. Whether it is children with aspergers or neurotypical children, they learn by what you do. So be consistent and be the change you hope to see.
  7. Try not to compare them to other children. This creates self esteem issues for children with aspergers. Allow them to be how they will be, but treat all your children equally, adjusting for handicaps.
  8. Try to see it from their perspective. You can do this by reading authors like Temple Gradhin and others with aspergers. This is not perfect, but will allow you to get an idea of what your child is thinking.
  9. Involve them in activities. But if they don’t like it after a bit, don’t force them to continue on going, even if it is for their own good.
  10. Use positive incentives. Discipline alone will not help. It has been shown positive reinforcement works better than discipline alone. This does not mean your child needs a door price every day, but use it when necessary.

 

Dealing with Family When You Have Mild Aspergers

dealingwithfamilyaspergers

Dealing with Family When       You Have Mild Aspergers

When you have aspergers, it makes social situations difficult to estimate sometimes. This makes it hard to deal with family. Should you tell them or should you leave them in the dark. Now I am talking more generally in terms of extended family, but in some circumstances this also applies to close members of the family. This will usually depend on how open minded your parents, grand parents, or siblings are, and whether the misinterpret things or not.

The first thing is that is it necessary to mention it to them. Sometimes merely mentioning it can make you appear weak, and thus leave you vulnerable to attack. But if a situation requires it, like you flub up or you need help, it may be okay to mention the fact you have aspergers. In addition when you need to have people in your corner, it may be appropriate if no one is in your corner.

As far as talking goes, family will usually be more lenient, and thus you can speak your mind more freely. However, if you have radical thoughts on things, it still may be a good idea to temper things. Still keep in mind that they are human and try not to repeat things. But as far as obsessiveness, you will have a little more leeway with them.

With conflicts, that is where having someone in your corner comes in handy. They will be able to help you alleviate the unnecessary fights and help you choose your battles. Whatever you do, keep calm and level headed, and if it gets out of control walk away.

Then there is the dreaded family reunion. We have all been there. But with aspergers it is a nightmare. A bunch of what seems like random people wanting to talk to you can seem to be a bit overwhelming, but it can be managed. In many cases there are cells. Find a cell and join it. You may have to talk to say hi, but after you can just listen, and if it is interesting enough you can interject what you have to say. Another safe option is to join in on activities and games.

One final word is keep an open line of communication with family. While they may not be perfect, there may be a time where you need their help, and if they are not there to help, you are in a quandary. Even as you enjoy your hobbies, still make time for family. Even if it is a small sliver, it is worth taking time to cultivate relationships that can blossom into lifelines when you need them.

 

Mild Aspergers: Dating and Love

 

aspergers datingMild Aspergers: Dating and Love

When you have aspergers and are seeking a relationship, it can seem frustrating to have to go through a Byzantine maze just to find someone that will love you for who you are. But if you understand the man behind the curtain in relationships and dating, then you can seize the moment and maybe find someone that can relate to you.

First and foremost, have no expectations. I do realize this seems counter intuitive in theory, but it makes you seem like a horn dog. Think of it this way: when you want friend, do you expect to find them? More than likely not. This does not mean you should not posture, ie. be friendly, talk to everyone, etc. but it does not mean you should focus on one person and try and push against a brick wall. Sometimes it is hard to tell if someone is interested, but in most cases they are not, and we tend to get caught up analyzing the minor details. So keep an open mind and if you find yourself being invited out or someone accepting your invitation, that is the biggest flag to realize it is serious. Also don’t rush to hang out. Just try to get to know them and let it “give birth” so to speak.

One major thing that affects aspergers dating is the sausage fest effect (or the opposite for females trying to seek males). Many times the problems you face is simple economics. There are more males than female, and thus one of the sexes have to compete for the attention of the other. In area that tend to be more neurotypical, this can be a problem. If you cannot move or don’t have more reasons than dating to move, the next best thing is try to fit into alternative circles. But even this does not work. There is always the option of going abroad, but this option should only be sought if you can find some way to sustain yourself. Otherwise if you bring your potential bride or groom back to your home country, you may be in for a rude awakening.

One other thing to relate to aspergers dating is that often times there will be an age discrepancy. This is not bad, but you have to be careful. Some young person may look older than they are, and as a result you may date an underage person. We don’t want that. As long as the person you are dating is within the age of consent in your area, do not worry about the jeers or cheers. Just be you. Usually, men tend to marry or date younger women and women tend to marry  or date older men. This happens a lot even in the neurotypical world, the only difference with aspergers dating is that the age gap is larger. So keep that in mind in men or women intensive areas. Many times younger or older companions are more forgiving. This makes it slightly less hard for those with aspergers to date.

Finally, be yourself. Even though you have aspergers, there is someone that will think you are cute and want to date you. Just be patient and put your best foot forward.

 

Jobs for People with Mild Aspegers: The List

Jobs for Aspergers:The List.

You may be in high school or college, or perhaps you may feel like you need to change course in life because your job isn’t what all it is cracked up to be. If you want a job that challenges you, then take a look at this jobs for aspergers list:

  1. Computer Programmer\Web Design: A computer programmer creates programs for companies to sell or to use internally. A web designer designs web pages for individuals and companies. Both pay really well and fit the asperger’s analytical nature and attention to detail well. Some require a college degree, but not all do depending on the area. Also, if someone is good enough to freelance or telecommute, someone with aspergers would not have to deal with office politics.
  2. Artist: With Pintrest, facebook, and Etsy, there is no shortage of ways to market unique goods. With the economy still not fully up to par, people are always looking for unique gifts that don’t break the bank. Or in some cases that do. Steampunk and other interesting art fetches a pretty penny on sites like ebay.
  3. Teaching English Abroad: While this is a social occupation, in many cases foreigners will not notice your awkwardness, it will actually add to the charm! While the pay is not always the best, in many cases you get a free apartment, the cost of living is lower, and it is easier to meet new friends. You can save more money and have an adventure of a lifetime. The only down side is you need a degree to teach (any bachelor degree is ok. Korea and Taiwan do not require certification).
  4. Internet Marketer: An internet marketer markets things. And unlike regular marketers who may have an outgoing personality, an online marketer merely needs to work on the fundamentals of a site. This includes SEO, copy writing, creating engaging content, or selling goods. It is a very good skill to have, especially when jobs are not as plentiful.
  5. Financial Worker/Investor. When it comes to making money, either you are or are not. The financial field requires keen analytical skills and a drive to succeed. If you like a challenge and you can keep up with the fast pace, then finance may be for you. The only down side is you need to get into better colleges to work on Wall St. . On the positive side there are many financial adviser jobs on main street that pay decently. If you feel lucky and have studied the market enough, then becoming a full time investor may be for you. Just don’t quit your day job.

So there you have it, a jobs for aspergers list. If you have any more ideas, just post them in the comment box below.

Facing Your Mild Asperger’s Diagnosis

It is never fun getting a diagnosis of any kind, let alone one that confirms you are different. But at the same time the silver lining is that you finally know what the problem that has been challenging you is. Now you can move forward. Now knowing that, what should you do now that you have received your aspergers diagnosis?

First you need a support team. An aspergers diagnosis is a big startle. I know from experience. When I first got my aspergers diagnosis, I was wondering why, then I obsessed over it and tried to learn everything there was to know. But now after several years of knowing I have aspergers, I am comfortable in my skin. Once I settled down slightly, I started seeking out a support network. It started with family, but with a little work it expanded to 3 friends, family, and a girl friend. It took work, and you must realize that that you need someone, even if it is only one person. But over time and with a little hard work your team will grow.

Second, treat yourself right. If you are single or don’t have many friends, enjoy the solitary time you do have! Go to a museum! Or a film (especially when you are the only one there). Just do something. Even if that is simply walking. But in doing these things, be aware and realize the deepness of it and meditate on it. Be mindful.

Further, you should read a bit, and the reading and learning phase will be over the top, but as time fades you will not ask every other time about what should an “aspie do in X or Y situation”. You will feel at ease and your intuition will take over. Just let it flow naturally.

As an addeum to the first, seek out support groups. In many metro areas, there are asperger support groups that can help you meet like minded people and help you build a support network to help each other. While some people may have mild aspergers and others may have more pronounced aspergers, everyone can learn from each other and their aspergers diagnosis’s. Listen and learn.

If you can, get a job in public. This depends on your existing acclimatization to the public, but it you don’t already have a job, consider something like Crossmark or presenting things. People will not judge you because you are doing your job and you will have a manager to help back you up.

Finally, if you have the means, go out and chill. Travel and explore. There is a wonderful world out there waiting for you to explore it. It has not been touched by others who are not mindful and awaits your arrival. Travel can open your mind and make connections that were not possible before. In addition, you may find new friends and/or a mate. Just be careful of overly friendly people, since they could be scammers.

An aspergers diagnosis does not have to be a death sentence. You can overcome it and be productive. For more tips, check out my book, Asperger’s Cheatsheet.

Children with Mild Aspergers

With the proliferation of social media and internet websites, pieces information that we never would have considered or have seen before are coming to our attention. One thing that has come to people’s attention is mild aspergers awareness for children with aspergers. children that normally would just be labelled odd are finally getting help and finding peace in themselves.

I recall growing up, and realizing I am different, but not being able to put a finger on it. Up until 5th or 6th grade I was fine, that was until other children started to learn social skills. Perhaps it was my shy nature (read mild aspergers) or not caring as much about school politics, but I just did not fit in after that point. It is at this juncture my parents began to home school me. This gave me time to develop life skills and be creative without the confines of the world to beat me down. but at the same time I longed for others like me. This led me down a dark path.

After a few years of wondering why everything the way it was, I stumbled across articles about mild aspergers and realized it fit me perfectly. And from then on I realized that I was a child with aspergers and that the children without aspergers were too conformist, and from there I built my true self.

There may be many children with aspergers confused but at the same time inspired. They should not loose hope. With help, a child with aspergers can come out to be a stronger adult and a better citizen than many people without aspergers. They may seem harder to raise, but realize the effort you put into your child with aspergers will sprout into a beautiful blossom if you let it. Here are some tips to deal with children with aspergers:

-Try to reason with them and explain why things are. Children with aspergers are curious, no less than other children. They question things and will want to know why. Just realize this is how they are built and use this to your advantage.

-A child with aspergers may wither trust people too much or not enough. Provide a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on when needed.

-Allow them independence, but provide information so they can make sound decisions.

-Encourage them to dive into their hobbies. This many times blossoms into wonderful careers.

-Understand that it may take more than once for them to understand something. Use rote method if possible.

-Practice life skills they need help with. Use incentives and track progress to motivate them.

-Try to read up on aspergers. There are many youtube videos and books, including my own, on the subject.

-Try not to loose your cool. This hurts the child’s feelings and confuses them as well.

-Network with other parents.

Do you have any tips? Comment below for tips you would suggest to those who have a child or children with aspergers.

Do You Have Mild Aspergers Checklist?

Mild Aspergers Checklist

You have probably stumbled across the web, trying to figure up from down. There is a lot of info on mild aspergers, but not many repositories of information. But in the next few minutes your anxiety will melt info understanding, which will allow you to make more informed decisions.

There are not many ways to officially test whether a child or adult has mild aspergers or not. Most of the time it is either a doctor or the person with aspergers that notices it. Usually the only thing a person can rely on is a rule of thumb and not much else. Not everyone on the autism spectrum or who have aspergers will exhibit the same symptoms, but there is a general rule of thumb to go by. This list is not exhaustive, but it is meant as a starting point to do further research. So here is the mild aspergers checklist:

-Over fascination with small details.

-Temper tantrums.

-They do not play well with others.

-Have been diagnosed with other disorders.

-Have a hard time “norming”.

-Do not realize the importance of social interaction.

-May disregard some social rules.

-Be keenly focused on a hobby.

-Have a hard time holding down a job.

-Oblivious to certain social scenarios.

-Have sensory issues.

-Have a hard time taking care of themselves.

-Find dating hard.

-Are super intelligent.

-Are a bit shy at first.

Now obviously not all of these will apply to everyone, but it give you a good picture to see whether you may have mild aspergers or any other disorder on the autism spectrum. There are resources available, including my own book, the Asperger’s Cheatsheet, as well as public forums like Wrong Planet. If you find yourself seeing your personality on parade in the checklist, don’t worry, and don’t panic. It may come as a shock, but with a little work, you can overcome it as an obstacle in your life and find success.

As I have mentioned before, I have written a book called the Asperger’s Cheatsheet on mild aspergers. I have dealt with my dark places in this journey and in the ebook I detail how I overcome common obstacles in battling mild aspergers. Only you or your doctor can decide if you have mild aspergers, but it does not have to suck as bad as you start your discovery process.