Mild Aspergers: Dating and Love
When you have aspergers and are seeking a relationship, it can seem frustrating to have to go through a Byzantine maze just to find someone that will love you for who you are. But if you understand the man behind the curtain in relationships and dating, then you can seize the moment and maybe find someone that can relate to you.
First and foremost, have no expectations. I do realize this seems counter intuitive in theory, but it makes you seem like a horn dog. Think of it this way: when you want friend, do you expect to find them? More than likely not. This does not mean you should not posture, ie. be friendly, talk to everyone, etc. but it does not mean you should focus on one person and try and push against a brick wall. Sometimes it is hard to tell if someone is interested, but in most cases they are not, and we tend to get caught up analyzing the minor details. So keep an open mind and if you find yourself being invited out or someone accepting your invitation, that is the biggest flag to realize it is serious. Also don’t rush to hang out. Just try to get to know them and let it “give birth” so to speak.
One major thing that affects aspergers dating is the sausage fest effect (or the opposite for females trying to seek males). Many times the problems you face is simple economics. There are more males than female, and thus one of the sexes have to compete for the attention of the other. In area that tend to be more neurotypical, this can be a problem. If you cannot move or don’t have more reasons than dating to move, the next best thing is try to fit into alternative circles. But even this does not work. There is always the option of going abroad, but this option should only be sought if you can find some way to sustain yourself. Otherwise if you bring your potential bride or groom back to your home country, you may be in for a rude awakening.
One other thing to relate to aspergers dating is that often times there will be an age discrepancy. This is not bad, but you have to be careful. Some young person may look older than they are, and as a result you may date an underage person. We don’t want that. As long as the person you are dating is within the age of consent in your area, do not worry about the jeers or cheers. Just be you. Usually, men tend to marry or date younger women and women tend to marry or date older men. This happens a lot even in the neurotypical world, the only difference with aspergers dating is that the age gap is larger. So keep that in mind in men or women intensive areas. Many times younger or older companions are more forgiving. This makes it slightly less hard for those with aspergers to date.
Finally, be yourself. Even though you have aspergers, there is someone that will think you are cute and want to date you. Just be patient and put your best foot forward.