Aspergers and Being INTJ

 

INTJS and Aspergers

Many times there have been comparisons between INTJs and mild Aspergers. While it is an apt comparison, there are some contrasts. While some INTJs don’t like when their plans are messed up, they self adjust and can have a bit better self mastery. In addition, some INTJs are Machiavellian and try to take advantage of situations (think of Frank Underwood from House of Cards) and further are very loveable, but it is all a front, whereas with many aspies this is not the case. Further, not all INTJs have Aspergers and not everyone with Aspergers are INTJs. Further, it is not entirely scientific and a bit too pop science for some, so you should take any MBTI results with a grain of salt.

Let’s look at commonality though. INTJs are known to be bored with the mundane, seek out larger than life goals, are often times not much of people people, are very strategic, are often very literal, very stiff in mannerisms, question authority, are often outsiders, struggle with the opposite sex, can be cunning in how they speak, try to cover up deficiencies by learning communication and other skills, and often are portrayed as cold and unattached. Much of that applies to Aspies too, except for the last 1/3rd. Further Aspies can be a bit more annoying in some cases, whereas INTJs tend to be on the more reserved, Aspies struggles with relationships, whereas INTJs tend to have a bit more success, and Aspies tend to have more slack given to them (when their Aspergers is known about) whereas INTJs have more scrutiny.

MBTI should be used as a start, but not an end to research. While it is a useful shorthand, it should be used for inner Jungian reflection. However, most the time it has lost most of its powerful meaning and has turned into a pop culture stupidity for every person with a computer.

Aspergers and Pushing Past Your Comfort Zone

    Push Yourself

     Through the years I have gone through a lot that pushed me out of my comfort. Whether it is a loss of a family member, doing heavy duty backpacking, or travel, facing our fears and taking on challenges grows us as people, which we then learn and are molded from. While having aspergers, whether mild or not, makes it hard as it is, you as a person are ok as you are and can transcend anything that is put before you.

The first step towards going up is yourself. Self defeating attitudes, past regrets, mistakes, or criticism all eat at our self confidence. How do you smash it? By doing things regardless of what the past tells you. Now there is such thing as common sense, so this does not mean blow past every caution. However, you can minimize risks by learning from those that have done what you want to do, thus minimizing risk to yourself. We live in the information age. There is no excuse for not trying to learn something.

The second step towards challenging yourself is figuring out what needs to be done and making a plan for it. Without a plan, your energies will dissipate towards every other thing competing for their attention. One thing that helps me is either using a dry erase board or writing them down on paper, then visualizing them. This has helped me manage organizations I have helped manage as well as in other aspects of my professional life. Other ways that people use to get their head out of the swamp are to have an accountability partner or someone do the activity with, working with a mentor, talking with a therapist, going to meet up groups, and chatting with others online.

The third thing to keep in mind is self knowledge. Learn what your strengths, weaknesses, fears, and hopes are. This will go a long way towards charting your path. Many times people just go with their emotions not realizing what they are even feeling. A fully self actualized person will realize what they want, what is holding them back, and can then craft a plan around that. While you can learn from others and what they have done, only you can apply what you learn to your life to learn what works.

The final thing is to continue to educate yourself about new opportunities within whatever you are pursuing.  In addition, don’t turn down every opportunity just because it does not fit in a 4×4.  Also , some of the most rewarding things are the hardest, so keep that in mind as you take on new goals and aspirations. Try taking an interest in others as well. Many times we will learn of news things through them. Or try parallel or auxiliary interests to your current ones.

Another aspect to keep in mind is just because you fail does not mean you are a horrible person. Keep a good humor about it. Laugh at life, find things that make you happy and/or laugh. Keep a good composition is key to determination towards any goal. Whether your animals, comedy, an occasional sip of wine , or whatever, take in the small moments life life, no matter how dull or uninteresting they may be to other people.

Asperger’s and Dating Foreign Women

     Dating Someone with Aspergers

I have dated both foreign women and women living in my country, and personally I prefer women from abroad. While you can find a woman in your home country, many times aspergers is camouflaged abroad, whereas in your own country the difference is more obvious. In addition, many countries seem aspie in their outlook, so sometimes it is easier to fit in. There is also the adventure factor too. In your own country, you see the normies going about about their day doing common things, being boring, and discussing inanities. However, when you immerse yourself in foreign culture, you don’t see something similar to you through the looking glass, but a unique experience, and as a result your self confidence is boosted.

There is also the language barrier. While this can be a bad thing, if you are still working on learning, this fact may work to your advantage. To compound this, if you need “help” with your pronunciation,  many others are working on their English or other languages, so you can build rapport easily that way. In addition, if you meet friends where ever you were visiting, you can use those connections to meet women much more easily than you would if you were back in your home country.

Now there are dangers to this. While most people are good people, there are some things you need to watch out for. Many times there are romance tours that can waste your money, women that might scam you for your money, random street crime, and other things I can’t think of. Also, some countries may not be as intellectual or conductive to your muse as your home country, so that would be another drawback.  In addition there is the cost of the flight, hotels, and other travel costs which you would not have back home. While there are many things you have to consider when going abroad, it is still a viable option. Most woman are wonderful and are just looking for love just like you.

Despite the drawbacks to going abroad, it is still a winning proposition. Even if you don’t find a woman, you will find adventure and will open your mind more than you would be in your home country. Going in you should try to not focus on dating, but having a fun time, otherwise you may come off as desperate. However, foreign countries are more forgiving, so you have a better chance of winning someone’s heart.

Big Cities vs Small Cities: Which is Better for Mild Aspergers?

Big Cities vs Small Cities: Which is Better for Mild Aspergers?

It will vary from person to person, but I would argue that unless it is a huge metro area, medium to large cities (sub 500,000 people) are usually perfect for those with mild aspergers. The reason being is so: while small towns can be a soothing relief, many times those with mild aspergers are singled out because they are different in smaller towns, whereas in bigger cities they fit in more. Further, there is more to do and less boredom overall. However, if your town has become a refuge for college graduates or people outside the norm, smaller cities may work. Also if you have any major hobbies that will come into play. Certain areas with have more of something or the other, and so keep that in mind during a move.  Also public transport is more easily available in the city, and so that is one leg up advantage the big city has over smaller cities.

Having said that, if you live like a hermit and only come into town when need be, then you can pull off country living. But the downside is the access to mental healthcare as well as having a decent job market is limited. But the quietness in the outdoors and lack of stupidity can put many of those with mild aspergers at ease.

One more compromise is the suburbs. While mobility may be an issue, it won’t be as bustling, but still be close to what you hold dear. In addition there are likely more health professionals and other services that can help you. Just be careful and realize that not all suburbs are built equally, so bear that in mind when looking for a place. Usually there with be some public transportation, but the quality will likely suffer.

Mild Aspergers and Side Hustles

Mild Aspergers and Side Hustles

Those with mild aspergers and other conditions on the autism spectrum often face issues when it comes to employment. Should we go along with the flow, even if it takes a piece of us every time we go to work? or should work conform to our mild aspergers? Perhaps it is not an either or proposition. Self employment (side hustles) can be very lucrative, and with some work can blossom into wonderful money making machines. Here are a few small ideas for those with mild aspergers can do to make money on the side.

Start a Website:

Whether it be about their favorite hobby or a need they see in the marketplace, individuals on the spectrum can make nice change by simply selling things from the comfort of their own home. All they need to do is find a product or service they are passionate about, and sell it. Or perhaps you can write about something and monetize it. Another options is to write software or create some other product and have an affiliate do the rest for you.

Doing Jobs for People:

This may be as simple as writing a paper or coding something. There are many sites that are always looking for people to fill the spots. The only downside is you are competing with the world, which can put a strain on margins unless you develop relationships or provide some value the competition cannot provide.

 

Selling Stuff:

This is one option that is always popular. If you can find a niche Amazon or others like, you can make a nice pretty penny selling things online or at flea markets and swap meets. Buying excess inventory or buying from Alibaba is always a good option. If you have the resources, going to the Canton fair would be wise. Also if you are in a larger city that has many garage sales, sometimes you can earn a bit from just finding the right things.

 

While there are some other ideas out there, these are just basic. For some better ideas, heading to warriorforum.com would not be a bad idea. There are many IM ideas out there, and this site is a good place to start to earn a nice pretty penny.

Mild Aspergers and College

Should You Go to College?
Aspergers and College

It seems like everyone is saying college is the way to go to earn big bugs. However, that is not always the case. Some people are not fit for college or just don’t like it. At that is perfectly fine. Even with Aspergers, this can be a problem. To go or not to go, that is the question. Depending on your obsession or your ideas, perhaps it might be a good idea, or perhaps it is not. We will take a look at the various options you have.

  • Physical College

While this will take up the most time, it may be the most beneficial. While people on the spectrum may not like to communicate with most people, there is a lot to like about physical colleges. Libraries and computers to use, potential networking opportunities, and events make physical classes worth while. However, depending on which colleges you go to, it may be either too face paced and have too much energy, or it could be too slow (community colleges).  It is all about finding you niche. However, many schools cost a pretty penny, so it is advised to do community college first if you can.

  • Online Classes

Here is another option if you want to go to college, but you just don’t feel like having to deal with people. The networking opportunities might not be there, however many times college have internship opportunities, among other things, posted on their website. Depending on the teachers, sometimes the grading is harder online than in class. In addition you don’t have much margin for error, whereas in class it might be easier to talk to the instructor in person.

  • Trade Schools

While this may not be on everyone’s top 100 list, it is a definitive way to get a skill that pays decent and yet does not require too many years in school. While you would still have to show up for class, it would only take 2 years to get a certificate, so this might be a cost efficient option. Many of the fields offered and trade schools are in high demand, it is just many are looked down upon because they are part of the “trades”. But that is plain stupidity. If it puts money on the table, then it should not matter.

  • Go into a License Profession

While it would be easier to break into many of the fields in this category with a degree, it is not necessary. However, if you are so inclined, there are many field that just required a license, but many of them require people skills and hard work. Financial services, real estate, lock picking, bondsmen, private detective, among other things, only require a license. There are some restrictions if you have a criminal record, however if you have a clean record, then many of these fields can be lucrative and provide a fulfilling career. The only downside is you have to work hard in these fields and many times you need hard sales skills.

 

While I may have missed some other obvious outlets, keep exploring and you will likely find a niche for you

 

Mild Aspergers and Religion

Mild Aspergers and Religion

 

While I don’t want to start a flame war over religion, it is an interesting topic to talk about so I don’t believe it should be left out. While personally I am an atheist, I personally don’t mind religion, as long as it does not regulate morality in government.

As for how many on the autism spectrum think of religion, I will break it down from my experience. As I have noted, I don’t pay attention to religion that much, however, there are many concepts put forth by theologians, so I have read some of them somewhat, however, this is where it gets interesting. They seem like they are on totally different planets compared to mainline churches. The theologians actually make some sense, and while they don’t pacify all my questions, they are not afraid to answer them or hide when big questions come. To be fair, most pastors and teachers are not prepared to take on big questions because that is not their prime focus, which I can’t blame them. However, if Christianity, or any other religion is to remain relevant, they need solutions beyond join my club.

Beyond that,I find that churches don’t match up with their historical basis or foundation. It seems like the pastor runs the church, which from what I understand is not how it originally was. Further, all the Machevellianism, useless chit chat, and aversion to actually digging deep into the Bible and tackling the big issues concerns me. Then not thinking critically about their positions, following certain political persuasions, as well as the fact that many mainline denominations have adopted philosophies that up until 100 or so years ago were crackpot ideas makes me wonder where they lost their judgement.

As for fringe religions, it goes without saying that many of them prey on people, and they are not logical in the least bit, so obviously that goes out the window. As for Eastern ideas, I like many of them when they are distilled in philosophical terms, but many of them are too other-wordly to be practical. Islam is too controlling, but have some decent point on arbitration and economics. As far as other religions, I would say some have good and bad points, but most the smaller and fringe religions are too crazy to be taken seriously. As for religion in general, I just find too many conflicts within them to justify jumping on the boat.

As far as what I like, I think Universal Preferable Behavior , as well as consequentialism, philosophy, and history in general offer the best chances of balancing ourselves. Instead of getting caught up in otherworldliness, I would rather practical everyday lessons to improve my life. But that is just me.

Despite this, I believe religion and spirituality have a place in society. I am appreciative of the work religious institutions have done to help those in need, help those who might not otherwise use a proper moral compass, and contribute to Western thought. The problem is though the ideas that helped build the West are now being ignored by those who built it, and as a result I feel like any gain religion has made towards a civilized world will be lost, unless someone can unlock the serious study and mindfulness that helped our forefather build the West. However, I am not a man for wagers, so I will sit this one out.

Mild Asperger’s and Posture.

Asperger's and Psoture
Tension from Asperger’s and Life

Sometimes people may say to us that we has a “stick up our asses” or seem uncomfortable. To ourselves, we may seem normal, but in reality, we actually are quite stiff and need to loosen up. Here are some things to keep in mind.

  • While I do not advocate drug use as a cure all to all your problems, I have known cases where individuals have been less tense after using light drugs (such as cannabis, mescaline, psycho-active plants, among other things). This is a very personal choice, but if proper care is taken in the care of a medical doctor, it can help to use alternative medicine. With stress lessened, posture can improve, even if you overthink, since normal stress capacity is expanded to include things you worry about with asperger’s.
  • Consider using natural remedies. There are many across the web, but I imagine that you can find many herb and things that can improve your mood and make you feel up just a little bit more.
  • Getting gluathione tends to help a bit. While you have to make sure it is absorbed,  if you can find the proper mix, things can improve quite a bit with this substance. This can reduce stress as well “fog” due to neuro-toxicity from the world around us.
  • Studying peaceful philosophical ideas can help. Alan Watts tends to help with this. This helps reduce stress and breaks down artificial ideas we have about our world.
  • Have a side of laughter. Many times we may feel like we are on the defensive, but that does not have to be the case. This can loosen muscles and keep you in an open position.
  • Talk to a therapist. While it does not always work, talking to a quality therapist can bring out the problems in you and place a mirror in front of you.
  • Invest in your health. If you can, try buying the freshest foods you can. This will improve your overall health as well as help you feel lighter and not as bloated and uptight.
  • Take a walk. This can clear the mind and give you times to empty yourself of serious and non-serious thoughts.
  • Try to zoom in and out of focus. Pretend you are out of body for a second, then zoom back in. Many times we feel out of our element, and so we go to the next “zone”.
  • Read up on mindfulness.  Marcus Aurelius and others are an encouragement in this area.
  • Write your thoughts out on paper. It is easy to chart things out and see how things are, whereas in your brain it is harder to chart things out since it is harder to represent things in your head.
  • Try and be grateful and content.  Despite the challenges you may face, just remember how far you have climbed the mountain. Then think that you will conquer this mountain and have more experience for it and tolerance for stress.
  • One final thought, keep unneeded stress out of your life. If something is bothering you to the point that your overall quality of life is destroyed because of it, weed it out like a bad snake. The sooner you do it, the sooner the poison from it will wear out.